Pretense
by Tari Silmarwen
Summary: "So… let me get this straight," she asked again for clarification. "You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend?" Demonfire


(A/N)- Technically part of the AU prompt meme I did over on Tumblr but also works as a standalone.

Damian and Mar'i are about 16/17ish in this.

Disclaimer: Oh how I wish I owned DC, I would clean up so much crap.

* * *

**Pretense**

Mar'i looked at him with skeptical confusion, her dark brows furrowed over her eyes. "So… let me get this straight," she asked again for clarification. "You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend?"

"Yes," sighed Damian.

"For two weeks."

_"Yes."_

"Because you're mad at my dad for some reason."

"To piss off Grayson, yes. Which part of any of this is unclear, Mar'i?" he demanded.

Mar'i shrugged, the sleeves of her purple tee shirt riding up her arms as she did so. "I guess the part where we're dating."

Damian huffed, and ticked off the reasons on his fingers. "Look, it's very simple. One, Grayson adores you."

"Well he's my _dad. _That's kind of a given," Mar'i interrupted.

"Shh!" Damian hissed. "Two, he's very protective of your virtue. Three, he thinks I'm a rabble-rousing delinquent. Four, he owes me big time for that mess last game night." A smug, self-satisfied grin made its way onto his face. "This will be the _perfect_ revenge. All we have to do is _hint_ that our relationship is moving a step past the innocent side and Grayson will be having apoplectic fits."

"I dunno…" Mar'i said, rubbing her chin. "We're technically sort of related. Won't that be kind of… weird?" she asked.

"All the better," Damian said, grinning wider.

Mar'i gave another shrug. "If you say so. So, how much do you want me to play it up?" She gestured with her hands. "I mean, do you want me to brag about you on Facebook, are we gonna go on dates, do we make out every two hours, what?"

"You can play it up however much you like," he promised her. "Whatever you do, I'll play along. You do the same for me, got it?"

"What do I get out of this afterwards?" she asked, hands on her hips.

"I'll sneak you out in the Batmobile." After a moment he added, "And let you drive it."

"Seriously?" Mar'i said, eyes widening with interest. She put her hand out. "Okay, deal."

-DC-

Damian was beginning to wonder if he should have set boundary conditions on how far to take their "relationship". Not that it wasn't having precisely the desired effect—Grayson hadn't spoken to him for a week and couldn't look in their direction without twitching comically—but he had been unprepared for just how… _enthusiastic_ an actress Mar'i would be. He was honestly having trouble keeping up with her.

Right now she was going all out in a French kiss make-out session on the couch, in the middle of what was otherwise a normal family evening. Dick and Kory were in the love seat on the other side, and Tim was sitting on the floor in the middle, eyes glued to the television and patently ignoring what was going on behind him.

"Mmmn…" Mar'i moaned into his mouth. The sound was like a heady wine, making his head spin. He couldn't even appreciate how Dick's fingers tightened on the arm of the love seat.

A pointed cough came from their left.

"Young master Damian and mistress Mar'i," came the slightly offended voice of Alfred. "May I remind you that you are in polite company?"

Mar'i detached with a wet smack, grinning up at the English butler. "Sorry Al," she apologized. "Dami's just such a good kisser I get carried away sometimes." She turned back to Damian with a mischievous look. "Aren't you sweetie?" she cooed.

"Yes…" he said in a daze. Damian shook himself and cleared his throat. "Our apologies, Pennyworth. We shall endeavor to conduct ourselves in a more _discreet_ fashion." Damian looked deliberately across at Dick with a smirk that suggested they would take their activities to a more 'private' location.

Dick glared icily, his face turning a little blue.

Alfred sighed heavily. "At this rate, you're going to put Master Dick in a coma," he muttered.

Kory was barely holding back laughter as she squeezed Dick's hand in reassurance. "Dear? Please remember to breathe," she whispered softly at him.

He inhaled sharply through his teeth, miraculously maintaining composure. "It's fine, Alfred," he strained, "Mar'i is a… mature… capable young woman…" The words were pulled from him with great effort. "…and can do what she wants."

"Really?" Mar'i perked up. A furious delight was in her eyes. "Okay! Hey Dami, let's go out to the zoo, I heard they have a new meerkat exhibit," she declared, standing up and dragging him by the wrist.

Damian let an almost genuine dopey grin spread across his face. "Anything for my lady," he chirped, as Mar'i pulled him from the room.

"Ugh," groaned Tim once they'd left. "Gross."

-DC-

Mar'i leaned comfortably into his shoulder as they gazed up at the stars through the car's front window. Even though they wouldn't spill the beans to the others until the weekend, she had insisted upon collecting her prize early. So they had snuck the Batmobile out to a quiet cliffside with a beautiful view of the city, turned off the engine, and just snuggled into each other.

She sighed contentedly.

Damian felt a warmth stirring in his heart. He would almost miss this, now that their deception was coming to its end. He played idly with a strand of her hair.

"I almost feel sorry," he said abruptly.

Mar'i raised her head to look at him quizzically.

"That we couldn't keep this up longer," he explained, grinning. Grayson was _almost_ used to them now. Even Tim had stopped making faces at them whenever they were being over-the-top mushy.

She giggled. "Yeah…" she agreed. "You know… you make a really good fake boyfriend."

Damian felt a blush in his cheeks. "Tch. Like it's so hard," he dismissed with a huff.

"No really," Mar'i insisted. "I've had a lot of fun."

He shifted in his seat, averting his eyes. "Well… I guess it _has_ been… amusing." He rubbed Mar'i's arm, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "You're a bit much to handle sometimes but our 'relationship' the past two weeks has been very… comfortable."

She beamed. "You like me."

"Don't push it," he grumbled, nevertheless going in for a kiss.

She met him and cupped his face, sighing with that gentle contentment again. His hands were on her shoulders, and just beginning to drift down her arms when—

_THUMP!_

Something heavy landed on the hood of the car, startling them apart in an instant. Both teens looked up to see the scowling, furious visage of Batman glaring into the windshield.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he bellowed.

They jumped again, squishing against the seat backs in fright.

"Father!" Damian squeaked, shrinking down into his shoulders. "Mar'i and I were just… uh…"

Batman was at the driver's side door in an instant, yanking it open.

"Out," he snapped. When they didn't scramble quickly enough he repeated, _"OUT!"_

The two teens hastily exited the vehicle, Mar'i laughing hysterically as if torn between amusement and terror. She quickly grabbed Damian's arm and pulled him towards the cliff edge before Batman could stop to lecture them.

"I'll just take him home now, Mr. Wayne," she promised, voice shaking nervously.

"_Straight_ home," Batman emphasized.

"Yes sir!" she said shrilly.

The man's eyes pinned on Damian. "You and I are going to have a _talk,_" he promised threateningly.

Damian gulped, but now Mar'i had taken to the air and the cliffside was falling away behind them.

The rushing wind and adrenaline soon subsided, leaving the air around them quiet and gentle, and all the two could do was laugh.

"We're in so much trouble," Mar'i moaned, chuckling.

"Worth it," Damian declared, tightening his grip on Mar'i's hands as she carried him home.

* * *

(A/N)- Disgusting children. XD


End file.
